He was originally from Ireland before he moved to the US. "Oh, really?" Urine luck! The undivided attention of a leprechaun. What happens if a leprechaun falls into the ocean? Leprechaun Jokes Q: Why shouldnt you borrow money from a leprechaun? Where can you always find a shamrock? Pressing, the man says, "How could I make mine that large?". What do you say to the smartest person you know on St. Patricks Day? Q: Why do leprechauns prefer dollar bills over coins? How is a best friend like a 4-leaf clover? You cant do that, says the Irishman. A leap-rechaun. Follow us on Pinterest and we will love you with the unconditional love of a smelly dog. A shamrock. Youre joking says the patient. What's the leprechaun community's answer to Comic-Con? 37. What's an Irish jig at McDonald's called? He took a shortcut! How do I get to the other side of the river?, shouted one lad to the other. Into my pub one evening, strolled the craziest sight to behold for a Saturday night. Are you from Ireland? He was just minding his own business when I sat down on the stool next to him and ordered my drink. the man what he could get him and why the man was pulling that chain A leprechaun doesnt get offended if you ask him if his whales blue. ", And The leprechaun goes, "Done! What do you call a fake Irish stone? In the section below, weve popped in the most FAQs that weve received. A pretty girl and an honest one. He is curious, and gets closer and sees a small person with his back to him. Then the bartender asks, "Doesn't anyone in your family like women?" The guy can't help but notice this little guy is hung like a donkey. Looking for his ball, he found a little Leprechaun flat on his back, a big bump on his head and the golfer's ball beside him. WebSuch phrases include bedad and begorrah, top of the morning, or faith, me darling. They reach the first monestary and knock on the door. "All right, I've got you this time. Who told you that? asked Marty.. Connect with us on your favourite social media app. What did the giant say to the leprechaun? Police are calling it a misgnomer. What is nuahcerpel? 'e went from pale to stout!" source: /u/0nyx09. Want to hear a funny yolk?. Yank goes to Ireland on vacation. What do ghosts drink on St Patricks Day? Any you want! So check em out now. Do leprechauns make good secretaries? He's Dublin over with laughter! Q: What is a blondes' reaction to hearing "drinks are on the house". A lepre-con! Some jokes can be so bad that theyre actually good. Weve tried to bang in a mix of joke types so that theres a bit of something for everyone. Well there is a river just down there. How does the Easter Bunnys day always end? One lad would dig a hole and the other lad would follow him and fill the hole in. The American guy asks, "So when do I get that big dick ?". Q: Why do leprechauns make such good secretaries? I wonder if he could do that for Congress. A cold beer and another one. A: Because Irish stew. A rainbow 3. After downing several pints, he heads to the loo to take a huge piss. So the guy after pondering for a while agrees, Ok man on one condition you can't tell anybody about this. I'm in a bit of a pickle and you're the only one who can help.". You see, were normally a three-man team. I am not, the neighbour replied, Theyre both for me., An English lawyer was sat with his Irish client. What can I do for you?" Sure youd be arrested for less!'. Did you also know that he enjoys practical jokes?if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-box-4','ezslot_11',196,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-box-4-0'); Either way, the jokes about this legendary creature from Irish mythology follow below. ", The father, taken aback, says, The Mother Superior answered and was taken quite by surprise at the sight. The priest looks from the bottle to the heavens. What do you call a fake Irish stone? He touches the small man on his shoulder to turn and identify the person and is shocked _Here's one I vividly remember being told by a kid in a playground when I was about 5 years old._, Stoner: "Alright maaan, uhhh, how about. a joint of the best weed EVER that never goes out or burns up, and I will never gain a tolerance to it". Top o' the moaning to ya! The only thing they had that was worth anything was their old milk cow. WebLeprechaun Jokes Q: Why are leprechauns so concerned about global warming? Bobs starts his business when Jim yells "COP". What do you call a Leprechaun in a stand-up routine? Marty he sighed, Why is it that whenever you ask an Irishman a question, he replies with another question?, Bollocks. A: Short ribs. The man answered " HEY!! He couldnt find three wise men or a virgin. Brilliant!" To make a rain-bow. Paddy says: "see it works, we didn't pay did we?" I met a leprechaun, and he gave me three wishes. I said, that. Why do leprechauns bow when the weather's bad? Made in USA with Irish parts.Watch the latest video from Sturdy (@thedirtyleprechaun). and the bartender says, "What do guys think this is, a joke?". now = new Date(); year = now.getYear(); The wife comes out to investigate the gunshot, finds her husba. ", An obnoxious drunk stumbles into the front door of a bar and orders a drink, the bartender says, "No way, buddy, you're too drunk." Drink green beer on St Patricks Day! I said, what have you been up to? They have green thumbs! "I married an Irishman on St. Patrick's Day." You know you overdid it on St. Patrick's Day when you think you're kissing the Blarney Stone and then it kisses back. So I took a dump on the floor and chewed up her shoes. How should you buy drinks on St. Patricks Day? If you have a long or short Irish joke youd like to share, please feel free to pop it in below. So no offence is taken. Look, David. How come you can you never borrow a few quid from a leprechaun? Sham-rock and roll. Are you going to shear those sheep?, I am not, the neighbour replied. But before you pull out your favorite green sweater, you better be prepared to entertain your friends and family with some funny St. Patrick's Day jokes and puns. Too much to drink and not enough restrooms! now = new Date(); year = now.getYear(); A: Sham-rocks, Q: What is it called when leprechauns do the wrong dance move? Sure, they're green with envy! They are usually described or pictured as being small, with green clothing and hats. whom it would appear he had accidently hit with his errant shot. An Irish farmer was walking along the boundary between his and his neighbours fields when he spotted his neighbour carrying two sheep in his arms. How do I get to the other side of the river?, shouted one lad to the other. Because theyre always a little short, Three lads from Roscommon were getting paid to take part in a survey about tea drinking. Because they have cotton balls. Between you and I, weve had em all!. He is pretty lost, but suddenly he sees a leprechaun sitting on a rock. What type of bow cannot be tied? A: Because theyre always wearing green. What is a leprechauns ", The Irishman goes, " Well ya see sonnie, im a leprechaun and I can grant ye three wishes! It gave a lot of milk and excellent milk it was. #1 for Parents and Teachers! What did the giant say to the leprechaun? 38. And hes out at the pubs, just getting shitfaced. What do leprechauns love to barbecue? Dirty Leprechaun joke. Why shouldnt you borrow money from a leprechaun? St. O'Claus! I dont know, replies Paddy. She apologises and trys again before farting a second time. The first leprechaun asks, "tell me father, do you have any leprechaun nuns in your church?" So the Irish would never rule the world. Potty who? What do you call a leprechauns vacation home? ", An old drunkard gets kicked out of an Irish pub. Patricks Day is almost here. How on earth can the news get any worse. Hundreds of jokes posted each day, and some of them aren't even reposts! Well one of them is a cunning runt. Thats 150 miles from here., His wife asks who it was, and Paddy responds, It was some eejit asking if the coast was clear.. You haven't met an Irish Women yet! As he starts drinking more and more, he has to release the valve and goes to the restroom. The man says, "I found out my brother is gay and marrying my best friend." It Must Have Been Love (But It's Clover Now) by Sham-Roxette, Shamrock and Roll All Nite by KISS Me Im Irish, and Party on the Paddy-O by ZZ Green Top Hat. What do you call a leprechaun prank? St. OClause! "You look magically delicious, and I just happen to be a cereal adulterer." ', Right, what do you call a bulletproof Irishman? Learn how your comment data is processed. Paddy and Sean are planning to go out on St Patricks Day, but only have 50 cents between them. A: Irish you luck. Did you hear about the fella from Mayo that was born with two left feet? Press Esc to cancel. Patrick's Day one liners. Q: What type of bow cant a leprechaun tie? Copyright 2019 - Meanwhile in Ireland | Trading under Emerald Green Media, Top 10 hilarious Irish dirty jokes (laughter guaranteed), Top 10 IRISH players who have played for MANCHESTER UNITED, Omniplex to screen most popular movies as voted by Irish cinemagoers, Derry Girls creator is working on new comedy thriller, The 10 most CHALLENGING Irish first names to get RIGHT, 10 reasons why SOUTH Dublin is better than NORTH Dublin, 10 GOOD things you might FIND by reading your partners texts and emails, Top 10 BEST Jameson COCKTAILS and mixers to try, Donald Trump to visit Ireland after criticising Joe Bidens visit, Tinder date pretends he hasnt spent 4 hours stalking date on Instagram, Adam King named most huggable person of 2022, The Waterford blaa: a fascinating history and recipe. The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord! How can you tell if an Irishman is having a good time? Rushing into the woods he finds a wee little man dressed in green sprawled on the grass. Regular rocks are too heavy. 1. What's long & green & has a low I.Q.? A farmer!. By looking over your shoulder. ", The American goes, "Alright, for my final wish, I wanna big dick like yours.". Who's there? After a while, the man needed to relieve himself, so he went to use the Why did St. Patrick drive the snakes out of Ireland? Sorry, love, can I have a pint of Guinness and a packet of crisps where youre ready there. The guy stands there and thinks to himself he does have a point! Its faster than Dublin the dough with yeast. Tell that leprechaun that if he does that again, Ill Chop his willie right off, I will! he shouts. Q: Why did the leprechaun stand on the potato? Erin. A: He got wet. When is an Irish Potato not an Irish Potato? A: Where's the stairs. What happens when you call a leprechaun short? My grandfather was always playing pranks on people. WebSturdy (@thedirtyleprechaun) on TikTok | 136.9K Likes. Paddy brags, You know, Ive had every woman in this town. Tony! he called. If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. A man went to a pub on St. Patrick's Day to have some drinks with his mates. Rick-O-Shea. A leper con It's the ability to tell a man to go to hell. If you have a tiny green ball in one hand, and a tiny green ball in the other, what do you have? To sit on his paddy-o 2. WebI might only be 25% Irish, but on St Patrick's Day I will be 100% drunk. Now I can grant ye one wish, as long as it involves tongue! Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day? I have to do 3 hours of sensitivity training. According to folklore, leprechauns spend their time as shoemakers who hide pots of gold at the end of rainbows. Happy St Patricks Day asked Bridget. This is the best collection of leprechaun jokes that youll find anywhere and all of these jokes are clean and safe for people of all ages. They have just finished their pints What are you after doing? replied his wife. Who's that guy who fought the buff leprechaun? But would you mind if I run it through my kidneys first?'. A: Leprechaun spelled backwards. To sit on his paddy-o. A: Green Lantern. A: A Potty Gold. To get to the other side. Ever tried ironing a four-leaf clover? The leprechaun next to him turns and says, Can I borrow a dollar?? But before all of that awesomeness, how about a few interesting facts about leprechauns you probably dont know? A: Theyre really into green living. Q: What happened when the leprechaun fell into the river Shannon? Paddy: "No worriesI lost that bloody sausage in the third pub!" "How'd you like to help put the Irish Spring back into me shillelagh?" Click here for more information. What do you call a bad Irish dance? The Three Paddies find a leprechaun, who brings them to the top of his rainbow. How did the leprechaun beat the Irishman to the pot of gold? "OK then, I wish that I was married to the hottest woman on Earth, who lived for nothing other than the need to satisfy my every sexual desire." I just got a hand-job from a Leprechaun Well, says the doctor, Ive been trying to get hold of you for the past 2 days.. He goes up to the urinal to piss as well and is Q: Why were all the leprechauns still complaining in April about it raining on St. Patricks Day?